Friday, January 14, 2005


Top Ten Proposed Changes At CBS News:

10. Stories must be corroborated by at least two really strong hunches.
9. "Evening News" pre-show staff cocktail hour is cancelled until further notice.
8. Reduce "60 Minutes" to more manageable 15-20 minutes.
7. Change division name from "CBS News" to "CBS News-ish"
6. If anchor says anything inaccurate, earpiece delivers an electric shock.
5. Conclude each story with comical "Boing" sound effect.
4. Instead of boring Middle East reports, more powerball drawings.
3. To play it safe, every "exclusive" story will be about how tasty pecan pie is.
2. Not sure how, but make CBS News more like "C.S.I."
1. Use beer, cash and hookers to lure Tom Brokaw out of retirement.

-via the niftiest guy in Texas.


Nettie said...

Why just pecan pie? What's wrong with cherry, or even chocolate?

Be said...

I could see a whole season of great pies! (My particular favorites being peach, blueberry, strawberry - you know, the fresh one with the glazed berries?) Wow. I stopped watching any of the news digests years ago - but might reconsider if they got that food network thing going.