Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Last night was a very restless one as my brain decided to throw me a thematic dream series. As I roused myself throughout the night, I did note that I felt the same way emotionally - felt inadequate and ill at ease with myself. What am I working over right now? Why am I doing this to myself? Is this malaise due to my frustration at work? My financial situation? My catching up with a talented friend who has been working hard and is now reaping some of the fruits of said hard work? Don't know.

The last of my dreams had to do with planning a party, but not having nearly enough food for all the guests. My mother (of all people) told me that it might be a good idea to at least throw together a pasta so that I could feed people. I remember thinking about how leaving the guests to go to the grocery store would be an insult to injury. My heart started beating faster; I woke up. It's been nearly six hours since then, but I'm still carrying the uncomfortable feeling in me.

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