B E B E R E

Two Dreams.

Though I've been sleeping alright in this heat, I have been dreaming quite a lot lately. Last night left me with two weird but memorable impressions.

In the first dream, I grew a beard and a mustache. Now, admittedly, I have had to shave the mustache I grew while on the testosterone and this did bother me a lot. However, since I got off that stuff, the facial hair's calmed down. Why I dreamt of becoming all mediterranean-like (right down to the hair color), I don't know.

My friends were all trying to be supportive, but in the end, I shaved everything off. It felt good for the moment, but then I began to worry about when I'd have to start shaving again.

The second one was clearly my mind/emotions working something out: There was a man, a very handsome one with close-cut white hair and a lovely smile. His house, habits and things were all American equivalents of the Frenchie's life.

We were on a date, and though I found him affable and attractive, I also found him to be totally inscrutable. What did he want from life? From me? Did he even like me? Though I liked his voice (which didn't say much) and his caresses on my shoulders and neck, I was frustrated. Horribly frustrated. Upon waking up, my first thought was of how, no matter how nice or attractive a man might be who takes an interest in me, I do not want for him to be the "strong, silent" type. Strong, silent usually means walled-in. I neither have the time nor the patience to deal with that sort of thing anymore. Honesty and good faith are more interesting to me at this point.