B E B E R E

Quiet Halloween this year. No one really dressed up in the office. A few people complained about there being no 'spirit' there this year. Guess that that's what you get when you either lay off or fire the all the 'spirit' committe members.

Had maybe two dozen kids come trick or treating. Strange, as it is a Friday and the weather's nice. Put out a teeny jack o' lantern anyway. Hal got a few nice pictures of it. Maybe eventually I'll share. He said that it looked like something I would make. Something I'd sketch.

My Halloween card was pretty nasty: an image of the ducks' heads he needed to photograph at the viet namese market in Lowell. One of the few images I've had to toss.

Was a day of pain otherwise. Had a horrible migraine that lasted most of the afternoon. Je plâne maintenant. The pain has gone away and now I am just tired. If you were to hook me up to an ekg, I'd be flatlining.

How to express the tangibility of absence of something? I'm right now touching the left side of my face: fingers slide from my eye to temple to cheekbone to neck as if to make sure that they did not disappear with the pain. I am my pain, the body and the feeling are intertwined. I cannot imagine existing without it. Feeling me not feeling pain and not being numb is very strange.

Thirty spokes join one hub.
The wheel's use comes rom emptiness.

Clay is fired to make a pot.
The pot's use comes from emptiness.

Windows and doors are cut to make a room.
The room's use comes from emptiness.

Therefore,
Having leads to profit,
Not having leads to use.
Wu chih i wei yung

Or something like that.
(Tao te Ching, Steven Addiss and Stanley Lombardo translation)