B E B E R E

Always wanted a program on public access or some indie radio station. I could see myself reading the news in a very nasal voice, injecting talking points like those I typically hear in my neighborhood:

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Rent increases are outpacing some wages? Damnit! Bring back Rent Control! And raise the minimum wage to $16.00/hour, already!

Mitt Romney won't be seeking reelection in '08. Good riddance to that (hiss, spit) Republican. Didn't accomplish anything except not raise taxes for all his wealthy buddies and see the MCAS scores go up in most schools. Standardized testing is racist and classist anyhow, so it's not like MCAS scores mean anything. Elitist. By the way...did you know that he's a MORMON? They're a CULT, you know. Intolerant white, racist heretics.

11 million adults in the US can't read. I blame No Child Left Behind.

Out of state college students bring lawsuit challenging tuition breaks for illegal immigrants. (Sigh, roll my eyes). It's not illegals; it's the undocumented.

Regional CO₂ emissions pact stalled due to concerns over energy prices...(cough) Bush is evil, you know, because he won't ratify Kyoto.

Dress codes for juries? Yeah, he's starting with neckties. Next thing you know, brown shirts will be a requirement. Fascist. Voters shouldn't have to serve on juries, anyway. It's a right, not a privilige.

Fraudulent elections in Iraq draw attention away from its illegally-removed former president's unfair trial.

That about wraps it up for now. Thank you, good night, and don't forget that there are only five more shopping days till winter solstice.

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Could I manage not to crack up for the entire broadcast? Don't know. Better to keep the text-blogging pokerface, then.

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Snort! Looks like my 'straight face' is a bit too straight:

Unfortunately, some of the criticism isn’t particularly meaningful, such as

Good riddance to that (hiss, spit) Republican. Didn’t accomplish anything except not raise taxes for all his wealthy buddies and see the MCAS scores go up in most schools. Standardized testing is racist and classist anyhow, so it’s not like MCAS scores mean anything. Elitist. By the way…did you know that he’s a MORMON? They’re a CULT, you know. Intolerant white, racist heretics.

Whose intolerant and racist? Wonder if she’s as charitable when the Mormon in question is Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid. Or is he acceptable because he makes Frist froth?

I've asked him to read through my post a bit more thoroughly.