Thursday, June 01, 2006

He said that he couldn't be friends because I was the Love of His Life. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

The more I think about this, the less likely I am to think kindly on him.

No wonder I felt like I was being strangled for so long.


Simon Kenton said...

I read it as a (literal) throwaway line, like saying "This isn't about you, it's about me." I also doubt any love that hasn't friendship as its major component. I'd say you're right to be pissed.


Be said...

I'm more pissed off at having tried so hard at it for five years. They've not been wasted, but I do feel like they could have been used better. Also, it's not like I'm a spring chicken anymore or anything.

Simon Kenton said...

Years ago a friend was going through it, and his wife said, "I believe this marriage can be salvaged." He said, "I don't want a salvaged marriage."

I took that to heart. At the risk of sounding callow, if it wasn't fun, and it didn't seem like there was any real prospect of it being fun soon, I pressed the red button.

At the risk of sounding cynical, a lot of dating comes across as progressive misbehavior testing:

"Ah, you took that. Now let's see if you'll stand for this."

"Good, good. You stood still for that bit of degrading neurosis. Let's see if I can get even nuttier and get you to take it."

"I can hardly believe my good fortune. You actually stood still for that one. Now let me get REALLY crappy."

Once I perceived this, dating became lots more fun, albeit shorter.

I say again, "Congratulations."

Be said...

Problem is, not all relationships are going to be fun all the time. I don't want to end up a fairweather girlfriend type to anyone. Maybe I should just stick with the old model of emotional bonds with good friends and outsourcing the physical side to the occasional consultant (can get emotionally messy, though).