Monday, May 21, 2007

This weekend was much like the previous two in that there was so much interesting going on that I decided to do rather than write. Eventually (hopefully) I'll get to committing some of the adventures on 'paper.'

Generally during times like this, I get really resentful of only having Saturday and Sunday. Last night, however, I didn't even have time to get the blues, as somewhere around 7-8 pm, the awful white-light electric spark started heading up my neck into my head. By about 10:00 pm, it was no longer possible to keep my eyes open between the blinky-light curtain and lead-weights on the lids.

It was only through sheer force of will that I managed to hold down dinner and to drag myself into bed. Once there, managed to arrange the pillows a little in order to support my neck and cradle my head, then attempted to either wall in The Pain or exhaust myself.

I had to forget about anything so complex and tiring as heating my hands or feet up. Instead, I took my time in drawing a curtain to separate me from The Pain. No projecting of numbers, either: I just enunciated (not out loud, hopefully) the numbers as clearly and precisely as I was able to. When I got to about thirty, I think I fell asleep.

It was far from the end of my troubles, though, as The Pain woke me up an hour later, an hour after that, and then two hours later. I took drinks of water and paced a bit, then wondered if it might not be a good idea to try to take any medicine (when my head hurts so badly, the stomach gets upset, too, and I risk throwing up and wasting perfectly good painkillers). Decided against pills, so went back to bed to count myself back to the soft blackness.

I'm lucky that I'm not too tired, as I didn't sleep nearly enough. Also am very surprised to only have felt slightly nauseous. However, my eyes are extremely sensitive right now, and it feels as though I'm separated from the rest of the world, from full consciousness by a shroud of tulle or gauze or something. I see what's going on and can make relatively simple decisions about things, but I'm afraid that my responses to people are slightly off/inappropriate/not jibing. Explained this to my boss (who's dealt with all my brain issues at one point or another) and she just told me to leave when I had to. Hopefully I can manage a full day, as I do have a lot of work to get done and it makes me feel useful to at least be able to make it into the office, anyhow.

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