Guess I've been in a rut for some time now. Spinning the wheels and not moving forward is getting frustrating. Rather than calling someone to tow me out (there's quite a wait for that nowadays), decided to rummage around in the trunk to see what I have in the tool kit that might help.
Found my copy of the Feeling Good Handbook, which is probably one of the best texts on how to re frame one's thoughts in order to "find the courage to get things done." This was recommended to me years ago by a counselor friend who understood me to be the tough cookie / anti self-help type that I am. Am glad to have given her suggestion the benefit of the doubt, and am enjoying re reading / re working the exercises.
After years of sort-of following a low-carb diet and then not, finally picked up a copy of Gary Taubes's Why We Get Fat and What to Do About It. It's a very good synopsis about the science around what causes obesity, how the current medical recommendations are incorrect, and what one should do to lose weight. Had a hard time warming up to Mr. Taubes's style, but now we're doing fine. Am currently following the guidelines in the appendix, as well. I won't say that I'm doing Great (housemate tells me I'm suffering from "induction flu;" it's a mild case, though.). Am finding it easier to fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up in the mornings, though, and that's Really Good.
Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner. That's from college. Was a woodwind player back then. Afterwards, started playing the piano Very Poorly. That Very Poor Playing made me so happy, though. Somewhere down the road, I lost the music. All of it. Need to get back in touch with that part of me that luxuriated in playing Poulenc at half speed, that cracked puns in French with a Buffalo accent, that loved messing messily with color. It's still there; I can feel it. Just got buried under sadness.
Baby Steps. Weekends used to be spent on mountain trails. Now, am lucky if I can get the daily three miles in, and maybe a 30 second plank. Broke two fingers on my right hand late last Fall, so the Hanon exercises need to Go Slow. Poulenc's out of my range right now, so am playing some shorter pieces from a little album of Romantic Music very slowly. Then, there's the Putting Myself Out There business. That's never been easy. Right now, even contemplating it is scaring the heck out of me, though the reasonable side knows that fear is irrational. Baby Steps.