The first memories of my mother, when I heard that she'd passed, were not the best. Have been trying like the devil to find good ones. Thank heavens for a friend who asked the all important question, "yes, but did your mother cook? Was she a good one?"

Have been focusing on that.

Crazy Quilting.

Stuff was at a standstill for a minute, sorry about that. Am just starting to crawl out from under my rock and sniff the air a bit. The house is still standing, I'm still alive and sentient. Family, though still reeling (it's only been a week), are managing.

The best part of this all is that we're trying to come together to find the best way to work everything out. It doesn't feel like salvaging; more like taking bits of beautiful stuff acquired here and there and reconfiguring, stitching, embroidering to make a new something. Maybe I'm being optimistic, but we'll see.

Just got word that my mother passed away tonight at about 9:00. Amazing how she held on as she did. Hopefully she's found her parents up there by now. (Missed them terribly. Though I don't think she'd admit it, I think she missed her sister, too.) Hopefully she's found some peace.

In Flanders Fields.

Pet Shop Boys -Always on my mind
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My love to my dad, my uncle, my brother. To the folks who came Here to avoid fighting horrible wars There.

Difficulty sleeping. Small wonder, I guess.

Just Got Word.

Kidneys shut down, unconscious. It's a matter of hours now. There's no way for me to get back in time for this. Am actually pretty relieved (God strike me down). Will have to go back to sift through stuff, though, but that's not immediate.

God protect her and keep her. I never hated her, though I'm still terribly afraid of her. I wish her the peace she probably never had in this life.

Back Again.

Was actually a good, constructive visit. Will probably be returning around Christmastime. Hopefully by then we'll have some more stuff chipped away at from this side of things.

As for being back stateside, am glad to be back in Boston. Not so pleased at what awaits in the Heimatstadt. Need to play it really careful, as family's involved (large part of the reason why I'm here and not there).